Home > Thoughts > Year 2008 Closing Thoughts

Year 2008 Closing Thoughts

Year 2008 End

As the year comes to a close I was thinking of all that I had accomplished this year. I’ll stick to my online goals, but I may throw in a few RL ones that are important parts of my year.

I wanted to get started on this last night, but was lazy :P But I was reading through Trewq’s Year In Review, and thought I should get my rear in gear. Not much time left, and I shouldn’t start my new years off so lazy. I’m not as easily organized in thought as she is with her review.

2007 was a horrible year. I was broken with pain and hurt and confused about who I was for some time after. Online was a battleground, and I had many wounds that I had left open. At the beginning of 2008, I remember just wanting to find myself again. I didn’t feel like I was being and acting like the person I once was, nor wanted to be.

I remember making my apologies first to Spike in January. I knew at that point I had to make the change. I was so tired of 2007 dragging me down. 2008 was to be different, better. And it has been. I have had an incredible year. There have been up’s and down’s, but I’ve learned so much from this year. I’ve found new hope, and new friendships, and plenty of fun and joy.

In the first half of the year, I spent with my long time friends. I think I kind of used them to hide away from everyone else for awhile until I was brave enough to spend time with new people. They were my crutch, for which I was grateful. I slowly came out of hiding to meet new people both at pwnt and JN. Tianna often reminded me how we hadn’t really talked much before, I think i’ve gotten better about that now o:

The summer was rather hard. I had these two wonderful online friends who I had spent many years with that were going in different directions than I was. I think I wanted to hold them close because I needed thier security, so it was hard to think that they would not be staying with me much longer. I said good-bye to both of them then.

But strangely as that happened, someone who I hadn’t seen in nearly a year returned. I was so excited to see him again (: Just ask Tianna, I told her how I had tears in my eyes cause I was so excited. xD We talked and caught up on everything, and we still go on about all kinds of things now, just as we had in the past. Long-term friendships are amazing. (=

That wasn’t all though, I think that helped push me forward. I had some things that I wanted to do, and without a crutch to fall back on, I had to accomplish it.

These words, I had received them just a few weeks ago. This in so many ways left me feeling more inspired than ever. I wondered if I had gotten anywhere in the past year, and these words helped me realize something important.

You’re completely right. You shouldn’t stick around and just wait for me. It’s true what you said. I can’t leave you waiting forever. We used to have this amazing relationship back a few years ago. But I suppose I couldn’t share you with others. I felt I should go my own way too but only to find out you were never going your own way in the first place. When I did go my own way, you went also but I guess my fingers slipped when you flew off. I should’ve handled it more maturely.
I’ve still got a lot of growing to do. And as the process goes, I’ve come to understand what life beholds even more. One part of life is maturity. I’ve got a lot of maturity to learn and handle.
I wasn’t the only one trying to grow. And the fact that he took the time to tell me, even after many months. I was able to understand him even more.

So my time in 2008 was to learn to have compassion for others. I think thats more the ‘real me’ that I wanted to get back. To "learn to love all humans" (from Morning Musume – Mikan). Knowing how hard it was to deal with my 2007, I realized that others may experiance a ‘2007’ as I have. When I wrote to Tawm after he left Pwnt and staff, I wanted to try to encourage him, despite all the he had done, and had done to him. This philosophy has carried on to my RL friendships and day-to-day situations too. I think I had the most amazing Christmas this year, (not that christmas was never amazing before), but that I was able to really just enjoy the people I was with.

I would love to say that my year passed with no regrets, but I do have a few. Not nearly I think as past years, but some things that I would have liked to see happen that never did. Those things will be forever etched into my 2009’s goals until they can be completed. But my 2008 was an amazing year. I found things in myself, I found things in other people, and I had a lot of fun. ^_^

Matthew: Happy 2009….almost!
"Tianna" (9:48:44 AM): happy new year’s eve :D
"Dave" (2:28:15 PM): well, I’m off, cya tomorrow, and have a great new year! :)
"Terry" (4:52:22 PM): Happy belated leap second!
(6:03:12 PM) Labhaoise: happy new years
(6:04:04 PM) Tom: Nexy, the world didn’t end! O: Danny said the sky only turned yellow.
(7:42:13 PM) Chaud: Happy new year nynex!
(7:50:55 PM) Rosie: happy new years everyone! =D
(8:59:50 PM) Suzuka: HAPPY NEW YEAR
(9:00:02 PM) Pie: Happy New Year from Toronto!!
Welcome to 2009!

(9:01:51 PM) Terry: Happy new year!
(9:02:58 PM) Chaud: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(9:03:47 PM) Willie: HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!
(9:04:58 PM) Michael: Happy New Year
"Chaos" (9:29:35 PM): Happy New Year 2k9!
"Matchu" (9:38:16 PM): Happy new year :)
(12:05:23 AM) Tom: HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D
"Kev" (1:02:09 PM): happy new year!

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Categories: Thoughts
  1. Tianna
    December 31, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    *hugs*

    I thought about how I should reply to such a great blog post :] I wanted to say something though provoking, insightful, and interesting but I guess I don’t have it in me. So yay for a good year and I hope this one shall be just as good and hopefully better.

    Happy New Year Nyners <3

  2. ifics
    December 31, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Terry says (02:07):
    omg
    Terry says (02:07):
    the snow on your blog ******* scared me xD
    Nynex says (02:07):
    xDDD
    Terry says (02:07):
    I was like, WOAH WTF IS WRONG WITH MY COMPUTER
    Nynex says (02:07):
    xDDD
    SciFi says (02:07):
    XD

    I can’t be bothered to review last year at all XD

  3. December 31, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    XP I was thinking I could probably entertain him for hours that way

  4. Chaud
    December 31, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    Aww nynex nice blog! And i hope next year is better then the this past year ( 2008 )

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